Calm is a Skill: 3 Ways to Teach It to Your Puppy

Dogs are naturally social animals that are wired to live, work, and rest alongside their family or pack. Because of this, the ability to self-soothe and relax when left alone is not automatic—it is a learned life skill that must be intentionally taught. This is especially true for Poodles, a breed known for their high intelligence, strong human bond, and social drive. Their deep desire to be near their people makes them wonderful companions, but it also means owners must be especially vigilant about teaching healthy independence. It can be easy to label a puppy who whines, barks, or becomes restless when left alone as having “separation anxiety,” but it is important to understand the difference between a true medical or behavioral diagnosis and a puppy who simply hasn’t learned the skill of settling independently. In most cases, these behaviors reflect a lack of experience and training. Just like house training or leash manners, learning how to calmly relax while in a social situation OR alone is a skill puppies must gradually develop through thoughtful guidance and practice.

1- Intentional Crate Training

If you only use a crate as a place to keep your new puppy while you leave the house, they will quickly develop a negative association to the crate. If going in the crate always means you are leaving them, that is a sure set-up for developing separation anxiety behaviors that will only escalate as the puppy gets older.

I like small crates for puppies that are easy to take from room to room. Here are some ideas of short crating opportunities through the day while you are home:

• Feed them breakfast in their crate while you eat breakfast. Put the crate close to where you are for a young puppy. As they get older, they can be farther and farther from you.

  • Tip: At first, open the crate door just before they finish so they don't get a chance to whine. This will help prevent you from accidentally reinforcing whining or barking by opening the door while they are whining.

• Crate the puppy while you are working at the computer, reading, or watching TV. Toss them a treat for relaxed behavior and being quiet.

• Crate while they have their favorite chew. My dogs love crate time with a Yak Cheese chew.

• Crate while you do dishes or cook a meal. Toss kibble or treats to them intermittently. Start with the crate close and gradually move it farther away

• Set the crate on the couch with you while you watch TV. If they settle in the crate next to you for 5-10 minutes, reward and let them out.

The best opportunity to crate for longer periods of time is nap time. Get to know your puppy's schedule. You can even create a schedule. When I'm raising a puppy I know that the morning schedule always has a potty break, some playing and stretching legs, another potty break, breakfast, and likely a 3rd potty break. By 8:30-9 young puppies are ready for a nap. Put them in their crate close to you and have them nap there. (This is also very helpful for potty training!).

The majority of crate visits should be short and positive (meals, treats, or chews). Only a very small percentage of crate visits should be to actually leave the puppy.

2- Teach a "Place" Command

Teaching a puppy a reliable place command is one of the most valuable foundations for helping them learn to settle and relax. A place command teaches the puppy to go to a designated bed, mat, or platform and remain there calmly until released. This structured behavior gives puppies clear guidance about what is expected of them and helps them practice emotional self-regulation. Instead of pacing, following their owner constantly, or becoming overstimulated, the puppy learns that being still and relaxed is a rewarding and safe behavior. Over time, place training helps build impulse control, confidence, and the ability to transition from activity to rest. Because the puppy is learning to remain calm even when distractions are present or when their owner moves away, the place command naturally becomes a stepping stone toward teaching independence and comfort during alone time.

3- Sniffing

Sniffing is a natural and powerful way for dogs to relax and regulate their emotions. A dog’s sense of smell is deeply connected to how they explore and understand the world. Engaging their nose activates parts of the brain that encourage calm, focused behavior. When dogs are given opportunities to sniff—whether on a slow walk, through scent games, or with enrichment activities—it helps lower arousal levels and reduce stress. Sniffing also provides healthy mental stimulation, which can tire a puppy in a calm, productive way and make it easier for them to settle and rest afterward.

Here's an idea from the Empowered Puppy Program of a game to play with your puppy that teaches them to sniff, forage and relax. Be sure to read the detailed explanation on the reel.